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Hello
Leave the credits intact or you'll be dead meat. i know it's supposed to be: it's never too late to apologize, so don't try to be a smarty-ass by correcting me.

Profile
Nabeelah is the name.
Eightteen is the age.
18NOV1991
Scorpion
Ngee Ann Poly, Sch of HSN

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FONTS. swimchick
IMAGE. as credited.
CODES. shotgun
DESIGNER. sheryl

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October 2009
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a walk down the memory lane..

Thursday, July 1, 2010

i seriously do not know why i feel as though my life is a total mess. I lost my mum when i was just 14. I have seen my relatives passing away but it didnt hit me that hard compared to my mum's. I literally felt as though my life has just been taken away from me. i guess it's all just too late when you realize ur mistakes,
when you realize that you have taken her for granted,
when you realize that when you ask for forgiveness, you do not know if she forgave you,
when you realize that she's no longer there to care for you, to love you,
when you realize that she's not there to scold or nag at you,
when you realize that He has taken her away to a far far place,
where you can no longer see her, talk to her, to know if she forgave you, to tell her i'm sorry, i love you. IT IS JUST TOO LATE.

I am seriously numb with pain. I used to cut my wrists just to feel the pain.
it gave more pain to my loved ones than to me, i stopped.
I have cried till there's no more tears, also no help.
the feeling is just there.
and it hurts me even more when i came to know that my sisters were scared that i would join bad company after my mum's death.
they constantly encouraged me to participate in activities, always make sure i am around with who. i know it is concern, but dont you think it will hurt the toher party thinking you have no trust in her?
well, that happened to me. i felt as though they didnt trust me, they always have this feeling that i will become bad. but i guess i have proved them otherwise.
but i dunno if the thought still lingers in their mind. and i guess i dont wish to know either.

I really really feel tired. trying to please everyone even though it totally irks me, doing something that i dont like. im gonna be 19, for god damn sake, treat me like an adult, people.
dont make decisions for me. it's my life, i am the one living it. not you, get it.
11:07 PM